Chapter 48
Rhea
I jolt at the voice and turn around to see Aron by the doorway, waiting for me to listen to him.
“I didn’t bring you here to do dishes. Come out.”
I snap straight and leave them to be before leaving the kitchen. “I–1 just thought maybe I should,” I mutter before following him to the empty hallway.
“You didn’t sleep yet?” He stops and turns around to me before asking. ‘Or do you manage to sleep in small and tight places. like that cellar?”
“I–I’m sorry.” I apologize, feeling that there’s a tone of sarcasm I hadn’t missed.
“It’s fine. I’m simply joking.”
I nod at him. And then there’s a moment that I have to speak my truth, say what’s in my mind before more time goes by. Before he turns around, I stop him. “I wanted to―um—thank you.”
“For?”
“Saving me,” I breathe out quietly while he looks into my eyes. “If not for you, I–I’d be dead by now.”
“Probably,” He doesn’t take much longer than a few seconds to answer and, with a simple shrug, adds, “Tll take that gratitude.”
“And there’s more.”
He waits for me to continue, but I begin to stumble and fidget over my next sentence as he watches me.
“I should apologize.”
“For?”
There’s a small tremor that runs in my hands as I look at him. I’m unsure if I do want to say it. What would I gain or lose by saying that I’m sorry? I only know that if this black stone of guilt inside me is to disappear, this is the only way. I need to. I have to.
I have to take accountability.
“For what happened,” I say slowly, watching his face, his expression. “I made a mistake, several of them. I was–I think I was too afraid of accepting such a thing like–like the bond between us. And I judged you too harshly. I shouldn’t have. I really shouldn’t have. You were right. I was dreaming of a reality that wasn’t mine to dream of. If it was possible for me to take it back, I would. But I understand it’s not.”
I pause for a moment, struggling to find my own voice again.
“I also under that–you have your own life, your own choices. You don’t owe me anything, and I don’t expect you to. I don’t want to cause trouble for you. If you want to be with someone else, or–or if you choose to mate with someone else, I get it. You saved me, and I’m grateful. I’ll always be grateful. But I won’t ask for anything more.”
My words end there, and for the first time in that moment, I can breathe again. There’s silence afterward, and I’m certain I’ve taken him by surprise. Although, I’m not sure I’d made a mistake with this.
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Chapter 48
“Fear makes people make stupid mistakes. That I understand,” He tells me, his voice low. “For now, you’ll remain as you are. For the time being. I believe you are my responsibility.”
I swallow hard and nod, understanding.
“Go take rest now. We’ll talk later.” His eyes trace the space around my face.
I do as he says and go up to the room. This time, I hope to be able to get some sleep as it feels like a heavy weight has been lifted off my shoulders. There’s some relief I find. Relief. Hope. But very less. It’s much shorter than the fear I have.
Fear of what he will do to me in the end? Because I’m sure that Aron is capable. I’m no more his mate. And the things I’ve said to him, anyone would be driven to hate me, would they not?
I hope he’ll forget what I said, let it pass, and move on. I really do.
Because now, I’m in his territory, in his pack, and at his mercy. His claws rest over me and could slice me without a thought There’s no one to intervene or to save me, and I’m certainly not capable of doing it myself.
There are these thoughts I carry, and they are too dark and twisted for anyone to hear.
But I can’t help it. Living in constant fear has made me think in that manner.
My eyes finally shut off, and when they do, I fall into a deep slumber, one I hope I don’t wake up from until tomorrow. It feels lovely when the darkness tugs me closer into nothingness, knowing there is no cellar and no sharp edges waiting to crash on my flesh. Knowing Catelyn and other wolves are now gone from my life, away from my peripheral view and lost from my touch. Knowing that Aron will keep me safe this night.
It’s hours later when I wake up. Hours. My head throbs lightly as I open my eyes.
Dazed, I blink a few times until my vision clears and then I shift upwards. It’s night, I can see that from the windows and the moon that’s in the sky. And it’s cold, really cold.
I pull the blanket up to my chest and rest against the dark, wooden frame behind me. There’s a warm orange glow from the lamp on the side of my bed, which I take notice of along with the slightly ajar door.
As I come into consciousness, I also notice something else on the side table. There’s a covered dish over a tray. I stare at it momentarily, my mind sluggishly piecing things together. Dinner. Someone must have brought it in while I was sleeping.
I reach out slowly, pressing my fingers against the dish. It’s cold. It’s been sitting there for a while–probably for hours.
It’s then that I take notice of the time.
It’s past midnight, three in the morning. I had been asleep for so long, the longest I’ve been in a few days.
I exhale and sit on the side of the bed. Even when I’m supposed to feel good about sleeping, about it all–for some reason, then something else catches my eye–the folded paper beneath the cold silverware and spoon. It’s a note.
My gaze flickers back to the dinner. I consider it for a moment but then something else catches my eyes and it’s the folded paper beneath the cold silverware and spoon. A note. Maybe.
I quickly lean over and pick it up, opening it. It doesn’t take me long to notice the writing and the ink on the paper.
I didn’t want to wake you, but I also needed to tell you this. I just want you to know that I’m not angry with you. Whatever happened, whatever mistakes were made–they don’t matter to me. I forgive you. And if you can look past what you once thought about me, perhaps you’ll find that there’s still a place for you with me. That is if you want it.
He doesn’t sign it off, but I know it’s him this time.
A small smile reaches my lips as I read it once more before looking to the side. But that smile disappears as soon as it comes,
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Chapter 48
as soon as I see the blood smearing over the paper.
My blood.
